She talked about Divorce
Well, its kind of bad topic to talk about but hey.. some people are dealing with this right now. And why i put on this topic because i ve been through it. Yes, honestly and openly i did it.
Many people who care about me always ask me if im Okay .. if im doing well .. if I’m not depressed .. if im not stress.. cause my ex husband already has a girlfriend (even when we are not divorce yet).. well, i just wanna say i am happier and peaceful right now.
Kind of weird isnt it ? And if u ask me, do i hate my ex husband right now ? I dont know what to say.. feeling come and go.. when i feel that i hate him, im not gonna pretend like im not and when i feel that we are good, i dont wanna feel that i hate him.. and i guess its normal at this time.
People said I’m in a healing process. They said i need to move on.. they said i need more time to figure it out.. they said I’m in traumatic event.. that i need to go and find a new one.. well, they could say whatever they wanna say.. but i know deep inside my heart, I’m 90% Okay with my self and condition.
Why was that ?
Because.. if i have time capsule to go back to that time and live the old life, i will choose the same way. There should be nothing to regret in every decision we made. Yes, it wont easy but i believe i can get through this.
Many people assumed that our divorce is caused by another person. Well, its just a small part of it, the biggest reason is because i don’t think I’m happy with my marriage.
Then why we are married ?
Married is a higher relationship of 2 people who are legally registered in a law & church department. But i think its not the highest. The highest state of relationship is when 2 people are willing to put the other’s need/want over them selves. Not easy huh ?
And i don’t think we can do that and its makes our marriage life is unhappy. It took me few years to decided for divorce. Some people think that I’m stupid because of my age. But other positively think that is the best decision for my self. Don’t think its an easy decision or even an easy life during the divorce’s process.
Cause i believe even a bad marriage is still a marriage. Even a bad relationship is still a relationship. Memories and years you spent together wont just disappear with only one paper. Thats why I’m just enjoying the process.
What makes me strong to live my life ?
Well, believe or not, i am happier and peaceful. I slept well every night. I less worry about thing that not happened yet. Im not assumed about the bad thing. I live my life freely.
Luckily, I’m financially independent. And yes, i am independent in many things. So my divorce doesn’t effect much on my personal life. Thats my biggest score in my divorce.
Being independent and financially free are the best medicine to live my divorce.
How am i see my life now ?
Hmmm.. i see it as a new chapter in life. Yes, i am divorce. Yes, i am single. Yes, i am stubborn. Yes, i put high expectation on my next relationship or even on a man. Guess its normal. I don’t wanna rush my self, I’m in a good mood .. I’m in a good life, and how could i waste my next life because of my divorce.
So.. for people out there who are dealing with a bad relationship.. who are not happy with their relationship.. who are afraid of taking the other way, my suggestion to you :
1. Divorce is not a dead end. Its not a best way either a bad way. You decide.
2. When you are stay in a relationship, make sure you are happy in it.
3. There is no “too old” or “too late” to create the life you want.
4. Be Independent doesn’t mean you are strong and dependent doesn’t prove that you are weak. Cause live a life after divorce is more than a feeling. Its a will for a better healthy you.
5. There are times in that process that makes you confuse about which decision to take, follow your inner voice. It took me few years to decide it.
6. Take that decision when you are ready not when you are hurt.
7. Knowing what you want but have no courage to live it, its a big suffering.
8. Even a strong independent woman can struggle for divorce, so you are allowed to feel sad.
9. Being strong doesn’t mean that you are never cry or sad. Cause “strong” is an action while “sad” is a feeling. We both know that feeling come and go.
10. There is no “best way” or “best decision” for every relationship. What best for me maybe wont work for you. Whatever you decide it, please.. make sure that you are happy. Cause you are more precious than the “age”.
Well, i know it wont work for anyone. Im still on process manage my new life. Im not that young for divorce, but I already wasted my 35 years only to find out what i want in life, what makes me happy and im still have another 35 years waiting for me. I am truly happier with my life. Is that life should be ? To Be Happy !!