Just watched the movie “ the allure of the tears”.. its inspired me to ask my self, whats my list before i die.Usually i dont like to talk or share my thought about something scary but death is not a scary thing. Its just a part of life. So, I challenge my self to ask the question about death. And i will answer it based on my thought.

In 35th yo, i’ve been through many things. Not only the bad times but a good time also. Things arent perfect, life isnt fair. I learn to understand the key of life. Well, sometimes knowing is not enough. Its hard to apply it..

If someone ask me, what if this is the last day of your life? … 

How i respond it? Should i respond or should i answer it?.. my dad passed away because of heart cancer. Many things i hvnt said and done with him.. I keep blame my self if i could have more time with him.. if i could bring him anywhere he wants.. But there is a day i think all of these and i said to my self “i am enough”.. what i did to him.. what i did so far..

Same way when i lost my baby.. i have lots of pain and regret.. keep blaming my self until now and keep telling my self “if i could see it coming..” but then i realized, all are about the REGRET. What’s dragged us down is a regret.. cause we think there is a better way.. we think there is another option.. we think there is another choice.. AT THAT TIME..

But no matter how we regret all of those things, it wont take you anywhere.. you will still stand where you are.. and you change nothing.

I ever ask my self, what if tomorrow never come? Am i already did my best? Am i already satisfy with what i am, who i am, and how i live right now? And the question is : YES, I AM. I am enough. I did the best i can so far (even its not my very best).. i learn to control my self, i try to enjoy the life, i try to live my life to the fullest.

Once I said my self that “I wanna life my life at the fullest”, one of my closest friend think that i am arrogant. Well, i just said “what if there s no tomorrow?”. Life should be enjoy isnt it? You work for a money, you are lost your time for money.. and then, what you gonna do with your money? Would you be happy only to get the money? Even i understand that we need money for living. But put a thing as our priority will not bring peace and happiness in our life.

So, i promise my self.. i will live my life well since nothing is permanent in life. Everything just temporary. Sadness , happiness, success, love, marriage.. its all temporary. Its just about how you re going to live your life. And what im going to learn now is to have a courage !! a courage to live my life the way i like.. a courage to love a person even it will bring me pain.. a courage to do good things even one day it will turn to bad things.. a courage to trust a person even one day they will betray you.. a courage to speak up your mind even its againts other.. a courage to get up after fall many times..

And when the time is come.. i have no fear.. i have no regret.. cause i live my life to the fullest with my courage.

And now, how about you? How you wanna live the rest of your life if you know if there is tomorrow?

Have a long weekend people 😁😁