Everyone makes resolution in New Year. They try to have common resolution such as : more happy, more laugh, saving the money, enjoy the life, find the soul mate, get married, etc. Well, all sounds so nice and exciting. And nothing wrong with that. Everyone (for sure) they want a better life, better feeling and better relationship.

Last night, I met two of my best friend for dinner. We talked a bit about our resolution. And when I shared about my resolution, she just said “Oh, I already passed that resolution. That’s my resolution years ago”. Im not feeling shy, I just in that moment to think that im on the stage to get that resolution. And last night also, one of my best friend shared her idea, her feeling with her relationship and what really touch me is when she said “well, guess that I am only human”. …

How many from us realize that we are just a human? Me, even sometimes I forgot that I’m just a human. I try to make everything in the line, I’m afraid to cross the boundaries, I’m afraid to make big decision, and I’m afraid of life it’s self. It’s kind a stupid, I realize it. But sometimes there’s things or two that you can’t control. Or maybe you can control but at the time, u have no control on it.

I don’t wanna talk about other, I just wanna talk about myself. Just wanna shared my experience, my thought and what I’ve been through for this last 2011. Well, my resolution in 2011 is to be HAPPY. Sound familiar with you? Like I told you before, that’s a common resolution for everyone. But don’t you know if I’m totally down and sad before the New Year? I felt lost and break in piece on December 31th. Why? Because I think I haven’t fulfill my resolution.

I feel that I’m not happy, I’m still sad during 2011, my business still the same, everything doesn’t goes my own, I cried a lot of tears, seems like my relationship doesn’t run well, problem came from the place I never except. And with all the feeling that I felt, how could I claim myself that I’m happy? I loudly said , to myself : I’M NOT HAPPY!!.

It’s a quite sad ending in 2011 when you look back and realized that your resolution doesn’t run well. I’m so afraid to face 2012 or to make new resolution for the coming year. I have no resolution until I pass the 2012. I look back during the past year and I try to analyze everything. And I find another view, actually some aren’t going well but I make a new step somehow that I’m not plan from the beginning.

I make little business of cookies for Islamic New Year, and I try to sell them and it make some profit. I make new friend and I more accept my relationship with some friends until I admit they are my best friend. And, I’m married with my boyfriend also. I went to Thailand with my best friend and discover my country by visited Komodo island, Tanah Toraja, bought some tickets to KL and Vietnam.. well, actually I made some progress in my life.

Some little things doesn’t work, but it doesn’t mean that you have a miserable life. Why I can say that? Because now I realize and more accept my self. That I’m a human, that we are a human. Sometimes we made a mistake, sometimes we think too much, sometimes you need to be in the bottom to realize what you’ve been through. All things that happened makes me know my self, my weakness, my strength. Until I made a conclusion, what I want for this year is not to be more happy. What I want for this year is to have a peace with my self.

Which mean to realized that I’m just a human, you are just a human, we are just a human. That sometimes everything doesn’t go my own, sometimes people could hurt me, sometimes my beloved one can behave not in a way I want to, that sometimes I cant avoid problems that come to me, that life isn’t perfect and it isn’t fair also.

And I don’t want all those things will let me down and break me into pieces like last year. I just want everything will makes me grow and the only way to accept all those things is by having a peace with my self.

I don’t know how its work but now im on my progress to work it out. How about you, what’s your resolution in 2012? I hope you could work it out also..

 HAPPY NEW YEAR, All the best and Good Work for our resolution !!!

 

Best Regards,

Lala

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